Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
