so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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