sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
