My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
