He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
