Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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