Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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