Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
