just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
