i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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