literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
