Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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