Buhtt sex?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
