Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
