why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
