they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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