I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
