is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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