apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
