I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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