dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
