i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
