I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
