I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
