oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How external is "for external use only"?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
