hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
