She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I want to be your penis for a week.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
