i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
