Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
