i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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