Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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