Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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