Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
