I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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