Don't make out with my wife yet
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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