Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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