just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
