i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
