it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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