This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize