my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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