Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
