I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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