i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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