"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
