omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
