I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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