The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
