You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
