You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
