Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
