so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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