i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
