Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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