I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
