Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
