she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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