do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
