did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
